Oh Lunar Eclipse

Tonight we have a lunar eclipse - look at
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-501465_162-20026149-501465.html?tag=stack to see more about that. 

My father reminded me that in "olden times" folk used to go bang pots and pans at lunar eclipses to keep the dragon from eating the moon.  Spit that thing out!  It's bad for you! 

Maybe I'll go bang on some pots at around eleven... we'll see if it works.

:)

Obliged

I finally started writing on my other blog so I feel obligated to put something down here - it's been a while since I have.  There is an explanation for that - I could get lengthy with it, but really I just haven't had much spare time.  This is one of those things I will let go over taking care of my son and household, but I don't think what I say here is so awe-inspiring that I'm tormenting my readers who are waiting with baited breath until I come up with something new...

Though I do have several blogs partially written.  I am trying to considerately write them, considerate so that I am not blatantly offending anyone, which given the nature of this blog is ... well ... I don't know if I'm doing it or not.  I know that my existence offends quite a lot of folk.  Particularly those who think that I am "sitting on the fence" - which I am not.  I just don't believe in higher spiritual folk, not Zeus, not Mars, none of the old Roman or Greek gods, none of the monotheist ones, none of the Hindu ones...

But I know there is a video game or two that you can buy that lets you kill folk in the name of ... here, check it out:

http://www.lbgstore.com/migagilebeet.html
and 
http://www.lbgstore.com/left-behind-eternal-forces-the-pc-game--the-multiplayer-enhancemen.html
and
http://www.lbgstore.com/left-behind-3-rise-of-the-antichris3.html

(vomit)

So, while I like to live a mostly neutral life (I will certainly stand up to protect myself or others, I am not a pacifist in that way) even my existence can offend.  Oh well.

I will get around sooner or later to editing and posting my other ... are they called blogs?  My other blog posts.  Posting some posts.  I have to say, though, that I really want to do things that make me tick -

pottery, walking my dogs, playing with my baby, hanging out with my husband and friends, keeping the house in order and having some time to think and ramble (this would be that), go to work, make some music - and in no particular order, though my priority list is topped with my son.  I guess he's not a baby anymore, sort of.  :)

I get through every day looking forward to the next day, and by thinking about the ways I can improve my interactions with the folk around me.  And calculating ways I can be more productive and truly advance in general.  Get better at all that stuff I mentioned above. 

Peace be with all of you. 

Death

I might have a lot more to say about Death - and I'll capitalize it - in the future, but today I have this:

I have had two dear people this week hit the end.  Maybe it is like nursing state boards (now, not when you used to sit for days and take written tests, but now you take a multiple-choice test and it cuts off when it is satisfied that you are or aren't making it, or sometimes you get long test day and have to take every question no matter what) but that cut off comes and you have already selected your answers.

At that point, you wait.  You wait for at least 2 weeks to find out if you passed or failed.  It's only grueling in the essence that this is the cumulative answer of 4 years of schooling, learning to make the right decisions - and you took the test - and you're just waiting on the response.

At this point in life, I had one very wonderful person die this week.  She is my hero.  I only have a small handful of heroes, she's one, Sully Sullenberger is one (because he did his job, the right way, every day, and practiced to do it the right way, every day, and he was able to overcome a severe obstacle for himself and everyone on board his huge powerless airplane).  Theresa is a hero because she overcame obstacles that she had, and was able to empower others as well.  She may not have had a headline to state she'd saved a specific quantity of lives, but she sure as day influenced her world.  I am happy I was part of her world.  I wish I'd been there more with her.

Death is final.  It never ceases to hit me with finality - when my aunt died when I was little, I wanted to see her again but there was no more seeing her.  I remember wanting to see her so bad I thought my family was playing a trick on me and she would be hiding in the closet when I went to see them again.  Somehow, deeply, I knew that wasn't the case, but I kept hoping.

Where do we go?  Well, in my view, we just die.  We came from electrons meeting each other in a massive chemical equation and that equation continues when the electrons depart every cell in our body.  From end of mentality to end of decomposition.  Where does that leave us?  Back to where we started.

I love decomposition.  Really, that breakdown puts us back in our starting places.  That does not answer the philosophical question, but it puts me at peace.  I can't remember my origin, nor will I remember my departing.  That is life.

We gain consciousness and memories and what many will describe as their own lives as we age, most have memories of late toddler-hood, but those are usually limited to major events - mine are surrounded by near-misses with tricycles and traffic, birthdays and music, injuries, and hurt feelings as well. 

What I really want to say today about the two who I miss this week, my friend who died very unexpectedly on Thursday, my cousin who coded several times and has been left brain-dead and is off life support with family surrounding him - is that they aced life.

Aced?  Yeah, they turned up Aces.  Those two were very loved and loving.  It showed in everything they do.

My friend Theresa was near 30, my age, I have very wonderful memories of her in high school when nothing went right for anyone but disney characters.  The other is my cousin's 2 and a half year old adopted medically-fragile baby boy, who was cared for so much and given the absolute best family ever by circumstance.  It is still incomprehensible that either would die, medically fragile or not - he was doing so well and it's an electrolyte imbalance that caused a very horrible cascade of shutdown.

Neither one of these wonderful people would have ever let on that they were in any way being given the short end of the stick.  Both were eager and competitive every day when they woke up.  Both made a huge impact on anyone they met with their attitudes and the generosity of their hearts.  Both would have wanted to make you smile, no matter what.

It grieves me indefinitely to know that I don't get any more time with them.  Non-superstitiously, I do not feel like I will ever meet up with them for drinks at a later date.  My humanity makes me embrace the memories I have of each of them, and love to hear the stories I hear my loved ones and friends relate to me of each time their lives were touched by these people.  It makes me glad to have been a part, even a very small part, of their lives.

Today I am making more firm resolutions, thanks to my family and friends, and the unfortunate finality of death, to pursue a better standard of living for myself and my family.  To continue to make more complicated and rewarding goals than I may have made yesterday.  To embrace my family and friends that I have near me and further from me, because there aren't really any excuses for wasting time.

There are a million reasons for taking time and making time for the things that are important to you and your loved ones and other people you would like to reach out to.  That's it.  That's the end.

This is our planet.  This is our time, and we have to make it meaningful today.

Random

Ha!  I had something to say yesterday but I forgot.  I worked at the hospital ... oh, yeah, now I remember.  My 8 hour shift turned into a 10 yesterday, got all my work done on time but hadn't been able to keep up charting or taking charts apart after discharges - crap it took too freaking long to write out all that I'd done.

On what I forgot - as I was getting out of there I got bad sounding news on the brand new fancy samsung vibrant phone I got - my cousin's adopted son was "crashing" at Children's and they couldn't get a line in.  They were asking for prayers.  I started tearing up quite a lot and messaged them that I would be praying.  I don't have to pray to a superficial being to be true to myself, but I sure was hoping he'd pull through.

I don't know how he's doing today, but when they had posted they had a line in I tried to message "thank goodness" to them.  Oh, the irony that the new phone would auto-spell "goddess" and send because the send button was so close to the delete key.  I corrected myself in another message, but it took a while for me to be able to delete that goddess post... freakin' a.

I really like and appreciate my family and don't really want to offend - they are super christians tho (that little group, anyway) - like to remind me from time to time that I will be going to hell without believing in their god.

Oh well, I'll take one for the team.  Someone's got to go there.  Ha.

I just don't like the proselytizing aspect of that crap.  I like the community, I like the people, I don't like the hive mindset.  I feel like being spoon-fed a bunch of crap makes the mind narrower.

I did like this clip this week tho - particularly the last bit.  Makes a person very thoughtful. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Fng53Jelwg&feature=fvst

Mundania

I have been working my butt off to clean my house, hire a nanny, clean some more, find more hours at work and re-paint the bathroom.  I hired a nanny, and the house looks pretty nice :)

The bathroom even looks good, tho I'm waiting for the weekend to finish the trim. 

Nothing really exciting has happened lately, unless you count reconnecting with my youngest brother who is doing very well for himself (even tho the crazy fam is saying he's heading in the wrong direction - how's getting hired to be a full-time manager the wrong direction?  Whatever!)

I also have a couple blog posts I've started but not finished and posted to sort out and put up :)

I think lately I have been thinking that unsolicited proselytizing is just unfavorable, no matter who you are and what's being pushed.  I don't do it to others, and can't stand it in any form towards myself.  It even makes my skin crawl to see it happen to others.  Embarrassing.  Now, open discussion is another thing.  If someone is curious, I'll gladly talk to you about my choices.  And listen to theirs. 

Some notes on Singing

If you want to sing, learn to love your own voice first.  Become very familiar with how you sound, you don't want to go out and try to sing someone else's song in the exact same way they sang it.  You need to own your voice, roll it around on the tip of your tongue, savor it.

I love to sing.  It's taken me a while to learn how to sound good, like a lot of things in my life I've enjoyed doing it before I really started understanding myself or digging deeper into the task itself.

I know it was grilled into me as a kid - practice, practice, practice.  Perfect practice makes perfect.  Practice makes permanent.  So, practice to do well, then practice better and better.

It is, now, something newer to me that I directly understand the implications of that practice.  I enjoy it all the more when I do something I like to do well - and I have the time to practice, and the motivation.  Ok, with the little one, not all the time in the world.  Obviously :)

But to be at a point in my life that I have the perspective - knowing exactly how working on something can pay off, and that at this point it seems that the payoff for something fun, like music, or exercise, or pottery - etc. - that peak is what I can't see the top of.  But the whole of it, each step up, is just more beautiful.

Prop 8 FAIL!!! (and other ramblings on marriage)

Oh, just had to gloat a bit that that stupid bit of legislation just got flushed.

But, I am sure will be appealed by the moral "majority" who funded the whole rot in the first place.  It was pointed out to me by someone wiser than myself tonight on all things Politically Scientific in the Grand Ol' USA that the way this proposition was defeated sets a disappointing precedent of National versus State law.  I then confirmed this disappointment with my wonderful husband who happened to also study Political Science.  Poopsicles.

Take a look-see here:  Same-Sex unions are frowned upon by churches.  They are frowned upon in the Koran, the Bible, the Torah and many other texts that are sequels to these wonderfully mono-visioned pages of worship.  Most of the progressive, non-religiously driven folk I have spoken to of this matter, and even quite a number of folk who do happen to believe in a higher power (and are quite capable of viewing their literature with a worldly grain of salt) agree that same-sex unions do not interfere with marriage between a man and a woman. 

I certainly don't feel any threats.  I got married and had a baby, too.  And no gay person stood in my way to stop me, or tell me that I had poor morals.  Why is it that people who think morals came directly from god, or more than one of them, would tell those same neighborly folk they should not get married?

Again, it goes to moral superiority.  If my book tells me this, it is true.  I have faith in the whole shebang. 

Morals can actually be supported by evolutionary science, as well.  Many things we do in communities would cause a negative backlash, and we have adopted a code in each individual society to protect ourselves and offspring from such backlash.  In a family setting, it is frowned upon to murder a family member.  Hey!  It's an easily recognized moral then; that killing your own is wrong.  Bring this to town, and realize that the backlash of killing a member of another family could conclude in more of the same visited to your family, and we have a societal moral value.  Let's all agree not to kill each other, MmmKay?

You can then draft your own morals again from following trends set in your community.  Many of these people are involved in mono-theistic activities, or a sub-culture, that is a part of our earthly whole.  While I take these folk at face value and do think that it would be nice for them to broaden their scope of values to include people who are different from themselves, they apparently do not.  They do not take me, an atheist, at that same level.  They like to point to differences and infer based on what they have been taught by their separate religious leaders that different folk are inferior folk. 

They might claim to view things differently, but corner one of them sometime.  You'll find they start any argument based on verbage passed out at their gatherings, and if you find logical reasons that even they can see to disagree, they usually fall into fits of anger or end conversations by saying, "we will have to agree to disagree, then."

Seriously, how in the world does same-sex marriage take anything away from opposite-sex marriage?  They'd like to say it's a fundamental thing, but it really always turns into a monotheistic world view.  There are no problems derived in nature with same sex couples beyond the direct inability to produce offspring (without a simple work-around).

Marriage ... while this debate is roaring and whooping, I nearly feel it's just a blank on the tax form to the Federal Government, but it is very important to those who would like to become bound to their partner in a socially recognized way.  It is a loophole for some immigrants.  It is a bother for some Roman Catholics who decided they like someone else.

The rights of same-sex couples should be protected by the constitution.   Besides those religious folk in our country who decree that there should be a definition of marriage based on their dusty, antiquated texts, can you come up with another reason to dwell on the issue of same-sex marriage?  I can't. To me, it's a done deal.  It should be allowed.

While on the topic of marriage, however, I would like to add that I really also think the institution of marriage should be completely voluntary. There are still countries in the world where people are forced into arranged marriages.  There are polygamous sects in the US that have also been found to have these tenets in their creed - marriage should be a choice always. 

And yes, while I'm at it - I believe that polygamous (consensual) couples should also be allowed to marry.  If they want to figure out the tax forms, let 'em.  I think that the consensual age limitations should stay in effect.  I also strongly feel that no person should ever be sold, bought, bartered, gambled, or promised in a marriage they are not ecstatic about.  Leave the underage kids out of it! 

And then speaking of children, I believe that children can be healthily raised in a non-traditional family just as easily in a traditional family, and may have even more resources as they grow up.  Like an extended-immediate family.  I still also fully believe children and people should be (and are) protected by laws from depraved people who would abuse or hurt them, and that living in a non-traditional family does not pose any extra risks to these children, as long as you follow current prescribed law for abuse and assault. 

That sums it up for tonight. 

I'm up too late

I had a wonderful weekend with my girlfriend and her friends (who are now my friends, I think) and was able to share my concerns and give advice and feel pretty good in spite of the personal issue and work issues I'm going through.  The best part?  I don't have to thank any supernatural beings for having such a good friend, or being caught in a big safety net when I could have had a big fall. 

I don't have to believe Karma caught me or anyone's mad at me for this all to be happening, either.  This gives me the total freedom to trust my instincts (after all, I have a lot of life experience that really gives me a lot to work with).  I ask who I want for advice.  I don't have to solicit advice from someone with ulterior motives, or a ridiculously superstitious world view.  Again, I rely on fact and people I can trust.

So trusting myself - that I'm making the right decisions, that I am soliciting the right people for the right advice, and that I am taking care of myself and the situation to the best of my ability?  Priceless.  Having a weekend long retreat with my ladies?  What a great thing, and with phenomenal timing.  I will make a point of doing this again in the future, it was very rewarding and very much boosted my spirits.  

I (again) don't have any superstitious doubts.  I've made up my mind and am sticking to it, until I get more information, and more helpful information.  I'm not relying on some supernatural power to look my way and help me out - I have a plan a, b, and c.  I'm creative enough and resourceful enough to do this with the help I've surrounded myself with, because it would take a freaking long time to do on my own, and really would absorb so much of my life to flounder without good directions from people who have been through it and study what's been going on.  I have a hard time thinking I could accomplish all of what I need to by myself. 

I also want to say that society has evolved so much in even the last 100 years - we don't have to rely on misinformation and old wive's tales.  The biggest problem I see today is finding misleading information from respectable looking sources.  That, though, is where that intuition and trusting myself (gut instincts and all) really comes in handy.  If I am suspicious, or if it sounds too good or too far off-base, it will get very close evaluation. 

That's it for tonight!  Sorry if it sounds like the same thing repeated several times - I'm tired but doing well. 

Regular human things...

When faced with life's many challenges, most people turn to the superstitious rituals of their communities. 

Touching wood, throwing salt, prayers to whomever.  I, as a superstitious free person, like to focus on the next logical steps to take.  This week I have been confronted by something that has been on the horizon for a while.  It was a fear, a known possibility, and now it has been confirmed. 

I will continue my blog/diatribe when I feel my energy has been refreshed, but I am asking for help from trusted friends at this point, and feel like my community is very supportive.  Thankfully, I've had a ladies-only-retreat planned for several months, and my wonderful husband is like-minded that I need it as much as I do.

I don't feel like I need to reach to a higher power or spiritual guidance.  I like that I feel comfortable with (again this theme shows up) evidenced-based treatment and am also comforted by the fact that others have gone through this and have reached satisfactory conclusions. 

A life based in anecdotal and researched methods of treatment is a fine life for me.  What I am most thankful for right now is the shared knowledge (again) of the folk, no matter what creed, who have faced similar challenges.  It really does take a village, and I'm all for global community.

I would be more specific about all of this, but not only is it very personal, it has not been fully explored and I feel that I have found my support network and will continue in a path of proven practices for the issue. 

I know you all care, and thank you for it.  It's natural to care.  Love to you all.  If anyone feels like they want to talk privately, feel absolutely free.  I'm pretty good at this point, and again thank you for any concern.

I also feel this is not the best writing I can do, but you get the point.  I am sure you understand that when faced with something naturally upsetting, humans aren't the best communicators.

A mocked debate: Religion vs Science and Evolution

~ The more you can make fun of something, the less right it is, right?  ~

At times, I let people know conversationally that I do not believe in god(s).  This has led to very interesting speculation by people who do - the largest jump ever taken was, "Doesn't that mean you worship the devil?" 

Hold on, really?  For reals?  That's where your mind takes you when you contemplate life without god(s)?  Oh, right, religious leaders and particularly the bible likes to state that if you aren't for 'em, your against 'em.  

Those leaders like to narrow your choices, so for them it's either god(s) or the devil.  It seems the message is that it's easier when you have less options, that way the "right" answer is more clear.  It is similar to the way you would offer options to a small child - less equals more success.  They leave out another choice: life free from that particular superstition.  It should be a right to be informed of that option. 

Very commonly, religious folk that tend to like to banter with me or have friendly discourse with me contend that science, especially the theory of evolution, exists simply to contradict their own religion.  I find that a very conceited thought progression. 

To wit: several years ago, while out with dinner with a group of acquaintances, I let on in conversation that I do not subscribe to religion.  I was asked by a Christian in our group, "Well, what do you believe in, Science?" 

I don't know if I even suppressed my laughter at the stupidity of that question.  Lack of faith in god(s) means I have to have faith in something else?  Belief in science (haha) - science is a structure or process for seeking answers to questions, so... kind of, sure.  But really, with science, the hope is that there will be evidence to support a theory.  Your theory is roughly the answer you have in mind to a question, usually a logical assumption that you think you can prove (again, with facts).

Take for example: Someone was murdered.  You theorize it was committed by a person, because it happened with a weapon commonly used by people, but that would be difficult for a cat (the only other possible suspect) to use.  Then you find a trail of evidence that proves it was a person!  That process is usually called forensic science.

Science is a method of inquiry, not something to be believed in, or have faith in.  You can disprove theories using science, too.  I believe fact; I have faith in facts.  Provable, evidence-based reality.

After a much shorter response than that, the same person then asked if I believed in evolution.  Well, as a matter of fact, it also isn't something to believe in.  It is a theory, those are hard to believe in, because theories are more a path of inquisition.  A theory, then, is also not a belief structure.  It is pretty easy to believe in the evidence provided by scientific inquiry, though.  Again, provable stuff, real stuff.  

As far as science goes - I think the investigation and resultant discoveries are fun!  Science is like permission to play, from childhood throughout life, with questions and answers.  Tossing around proverbial balls.  And then, with something that can be proven, and is proven, I am prone to believing it.  Not IN it, I just believe it.   

Back (again) to this gal.  She then proceeded to pose another stupid question, "So, you think we all descended from monkeys?"

- I should qualify here that I call her questions stupid because they show a huge lack of any sort of understanding for the things she was trying to mock me with. And stupid because they were designed more to mock than create discourse.  When she looked around at our dinner crowd, guffawing with self-congratulation at her witty line of questions to a non-believer, patting herself on the back for a win that wasn't, it was pretty ridiculous. You get the idea. -

Evolution does not state that we descended directly from monkeys any more than horses and zebras all descended from, I don't know... let's say donkeys. If you want more information about something, look it up - and don't make assumptions based on questionable information given to you by someone who has motivation to lie and make fun of alternatives to their belief structure.  

Evolutionary theory is a scientific study of the diversity of life on the planet and the path that life took to get from as far back as we can study to now.  It is tracing a path of identifiable, real, tangible evidence to answer the question of where all this diversity of life came from, and how it came about.  It's not that complicated - but it is a lengthy thing to discuss and does not at all coincide with the biblical statement that god made the earth in 7 days.  

So, in summary, science and Evolutionary Theory are not in response to religion.  They seem to me the logical steps a society enlightened by written historical record, shared information, technological advances and improved methods of study would take.  These intellectual advancements will hopefully make superstitious behavior overwhelmingly passé.

Intro

I decided to write this publicly to explain why I am comfortable living without religion. It is in response to the looks of shock and sorrow, pity and sympathy even, that I have received when I have let people know I do not believe in god (or any gods, for that matter). I also want to clear the air right now and mention that this does not mean I worship the devil or any other nonsense; I equally do not believe in witchcraft, sorcery, or anything that human superstition has bred over the hundreds of thousands of years we have existed.

I know that has left many pondering what I do believe in. The most simple answer is life. Here we are, all living. This, my friends, is it. The whole shooting match. We have been given a living planet filled with diverse animal and plant life through the virtue of being born sentient creatures. While I'm curious about where our sentience came from, I don't feel the need to push superstition onto an answer. I also don't have any urge to express that I'll know all the answers when I die. Again, this is it. The life we are living now is what we get, and I feel that is enough of an answer for now.

It is most important to me in this life, on this planet (again, the only thing we have going) that we try to enhance the lives of others and do our best to keep people from suffering. I would also like to profess that I feel it is our responsibility to be environmental stewards. We have knowledge of good and bad practices towards the earth and our co-inhabitants (um, like pouring poison in a well is a bad idea, while watering your vegetable garden is a good idea) and again enhance everyone's experience on the planet. A lack of faith does not mean someone is amoral.

Ideas I attach importance to are the safety and comfort of humanity, education, equality of all people, and protecting our planet and co-inhabitants from unnecessary violence or poor treatment. Of course there are more things I attach importance to, but I am trying to keep this monologue concise for now.

It is not my point to make fun of the belief in a god, gods or other deities, but I will probably use humor in my blogging on the subject. I have a sense of humor, it is present in my life, and it will show up here. If you read any further, you can consider yourself warned.

I have been mocked before by Christians for my lack of belief. I am not saying Christians to single them out, but because they are the people who have most commonly mocked me for my absence of faith (there are just more of them living in close proximity to me than any other religious group). No one likes to be mocked or made fun of though, and I usually try to maintain respectful conversation with other people when they are conversing respectfully with me.

I don't think that mockery is usually conducive to proving anything or making a point, either, but I will admit I have mocked others for their superstitious beliefs, and probably will in the future. Mockery in a debate or argument can lighten things up and make it so we can all talk again the next day.

Overall, I love people and humanity in general and am not trying to excuse myself from it or be a radical. This is just me.

I also haven't started out here to try to really prove anything - that's best left to science, this is a blog. This is my personal rationale of why I do not subscribe to religion of any genre, and more about how I feel comfortable living with myself. I have permission to relate stories here of why I feel the way I am living is A-OK, and even that I feel justified in doing so.

If you are looking for some contra-superstitious, inflammatory review of your faith in order to enhance your feelings of righteousness, look all you want. You may or may not find what you are seeking. If you would like to debate, please keep what I say in context. I don't know how inflammatory I'll seem to you, reader, but some things really do get me heated up; I think we'll all see what comes up here as this little blog develops.